Social Network. Fail.

How meaningful can any social network be when one claims to be following 560 people? Or is followed by 1,735? Attempts to keep a social network to just business, or just family, at least by this solitary and somewhat socially inept writer, prove more time-consuming and cumbersome than doing a tax return. I'd rather share chunky, occasional emails to rapidfire updates. Look for me there. Or here. Or even call me up or try to catch me on Skype. I've reached my cultural connection limit. I prefer full sentences to sound bytes, spelled out words to txtng and face-to-face communication when possible.

Yes, I'm an old fart.

The truth is out.

It's a party!

I bought FiestaWare.

Tangerine, Lemongrass, Scarlet, Sunflower.

It glows.

Hey! Guess who made the cover of AARP!!

The July/August 2009 issue.

(I was recycling old magazines)




(Don't ask.)

But the retirement fund was just sitting there...

Besides, grandma's old. What's she gonna do with it?

I love Dexter

Should I worry?

Friday's To-Do List

1) clear paper clutter from kitchen table

2) No, seriously. Do this.

3) Just pick up the stupid paper and go to it.

4) At least put the trash in recycling.

5) And the bills you need to pay in a box.

6) Just put anything that isn't trash in the box, the trash in the trash and

7) the magazines in the bathroom.

8) Never mind, just put the magazines in the trash and the books in the bookcase.

9) Forget the bookcase, donate the books.

10) donate the table

11) sell house, sell possessions, book self into monastary devoid of internet, phone or fattening foods.


Thanks so much to Liz for To-Do number 11. Or was that Sharon?

Liz? Or Sharon? Forget it, probably both.

Dos Ekkes, Dos Amigos

This is how it goes. A gamble, a Google, a glimmer of insight.

Cold enchiladas and warm beer. After hours napping, understated moping.

Jorge taps a finger to Jose's fevered brow. "Yo. Amigo. Snap out of it."

Jose doesn't answer. He can't. He has to do it again. Just one more time. Change a verb here, nudge a preposition there, remove that line, add this one. Again and again and again, each effort different, all equal in adequacy.

Jorge smacks him. Then again. A third time. "Amigo!"

Jose smacks him back. "What?"

"Move on," Jorge tells him.

"Move on?" In life? In love? In perspective?

Jorge drops an ice cube into the beer. "Let's start with chapter two."

Home Economics 101

Pesky house bills getting you down? Too much month and not enough paycheck? You want the premium cable, but your budget limits you to peasantvision? Don't despair!


You've got Mom's checkbook! Now you can afford all the things you know you deserve but don't want to work for.

Mom won't notice.

She has Alzheimer's.

Estate Planning Tip of the Day:

If you don't want your criminal brother to hold Mom hostage in her basement, make sure Dad gives you copies of all his estate planning/end of life documents before he dies.

If you know a Canuck, send this to him