How to Steal a Million - Part 1

August 2008

Re: Discovery proceedings regarding the Guardianship petition of My Alzheimer’s Stricken Mother, an alleged incapacitated individual.

Dear Ms. Maboobski:

Thank you for the copies of the three financial documents my youngest sibling claims are all that he found within my very dead and somewhat well-heeled father’s records. Please note that two of those documents, rather large checks totaling $40,000 made out to my father, prior to his aforementioned death, and while he was intubated and comatose in the local ICU, appear to have been written, endorsed and deposited into another account by my youngest sibling, who, you will recall, shares my father’s name and my father’s address, but not my father’s credit rating or high moral standing. Perhaps it would be wise to bring this irregularity to the Judge’s attention, and seek that my Alzheimer-stricken mother's financial matters, as well as her checkbook, be turned over to the current Power of Attorney, my sister, and not be left in the hands of the aforementioned heavily in debt and usually jobless youngest sibling.

Sincerely,
My mother’s much-concerned other daughter of many decades

August 2008

Memo to Judge Oops
From: Ms. Maboobski, Court-appointed Friend of the Judge for what-her-name’s mother, an alleged incapacitated individual with a pretty large bank account.

In the matter of the alleged Alzheimer’s-stricken but well-heeled widow of the much-mourned dead Estate Planning Attorney with the leaky bank accounts. To prevent further embarrassing, obvious and inconvenient forged checks from coming to light, I move that you limit discovery in this case to only those items which have transpired since the deceased’s, uh…death.

P.S. My most recent billing for services is enclosed. It’s so high because of obvious and grievous tension between the demented lady's children documented by attached letter recounting outrageous accusations of financial impropriety on the part of my client’s youngest offspring, an impossibility because said offspring told me himself that his father WANTED HIM TO HAVE IT. Also, said ‘much concerned other daughter’ has failed to bring forth a legal expert who can prove that comatosity precludes an individual’s spontaneous ability to gift large sums of money to indigent children.

August 2008

From: Judge Oops, Montgomery County, Pennsylvania’s Well-heeled Widows and Orphan’s Court
To: Everybody involved, whatever your names are

So ordered, whatever Ms. Maboobski said in her memo, which I can’t be bothered to read because I’m late to my tee time. And whatever you charged, Boobs, is just fine by me. I’m sure it’s reasonable and legal and ethical and all that stuff. By the way, everybody’s still raving about those perogies you brought to the pot luck. Send me the recipe?