Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Titles we'd REALLY like to see on the NYT bestsellers list

WARNING: Many disclaimers at the very end of this post. My lawyer called and insisted. Silly lawyer.

The Linguini Wars
Marshmellow Bustomonti

A Million Little Pizzelles
by James Fried

The Capybara Capers
by J. Lee Ronzoni

The Old Man Goes to Seed
Ernest Hemminghaw

The Crepes of Wrath
By John Beerstein

The Yucky Way of Knowledge
Carlos Castenets

Beer and Moping in Los Alamos
Hunter Tombstone

My Name Isn't Rosé
By Drambuie Echo

An NSA Boy
By Real Spyman

From fellow Bunion Lisa Sergienko

The Yellow Badge of Fromage
Cheddar Crane

The Heart of Snarkness
Joseph Confab

The Count of Monte Crisco
by: Alexandre Doomed-ass

The Scarlet Pimp
by: Baroness Emma Whorczy

Johnny Cremains
by: Esther Forge

From fellow Bunion Dana Y.T. Lin

The Joy F*ck Club
Butt Ho Tan

Bovine Secrets of the Ya Ya Priesthood
By Rebubba Bells

From fellow Blogger Jaye Wells

Fear of Frying
By Erica Sanders
(It's subtle)

Of Spice and Men
By John Saffron

Atlas Sucked
By Ayn Randy

Oliver's Pissed
by Jack Daniels

The Mountain Head
By Hugh P. Enis

The Fleshy Head
By Nita Briss

From fellow Blogger Christa M. Miller

The Lovely Boners
by Alice Ribald

House of Spam and Eggnog
by Andre Dubba-Rum

Cedars Falling on Homes
by Gunnar Destruction

Memoirs of a Geisha Tuna Can
by Charlie Tuna

FreakoReaganomics
by Laffer Trickledown

From fellow Blogger R.J. Baker

Pain in the Aztec
by A.M. Roid

From fellow Blogger Bonnie Calhoun

How To Kill Taggers in Seven Easy Steps
by Uri Ito

From fellow Bunion E. Ann Bardawill

Orgasm With A Scream
by J.A. Wrathofkahn

From fellow Blogger Erik Ivan James

Die, baby, die.
by M. R. Clairol

From fellow Blogger Adam Hurtubise

A Farewell to Arms
by Hezan M. Piutee.

Chariots of Fire
by Mrs. O'Leary

From fellow Blogger Jamie Ford

Brokeback Geisha
by Jamie Ford
Screenplay written by E. Ann Bardawill over at her blog. And don't worry, Jamie, Bardawill will be giving credit where it's due. Time moves more slowly for her than the for the rest of the world.

(Note: Oh dear. I just read it. Better she screws up the credits, Jamie. We'll keep it our little secret.)

(ANOTHER Note: Double dear. Bardawill dun gurn and given Jamie credit whether he wants it or not. Plus she dun wurser and dun written a SEQUEL.

Any of youse wandering what us Bunions mean when we talks of 'being off the meds'...won't, any longer.

My goodness, that there Bardawill is on a roll. Somebody put out a boot and stop her.

Gone with the Winfrey
By Scarlett-faced Fachekker

36 comments:

Jaye Wells said...

Fear of Frying
By Erica Sanders
(It's subtle)

Of Spice and Men
By John Saffron

God, I'm hungry.

Jaye

M. G. Tarquini said...

I have this vision of a new section in Bunionzon dot com (may I someday actually recode it) that will include the current postings from the Bunion Times Bestsellers List.

Those two, Jaye, will be on it. May I put them in the top post?

Jaye Wells said...

I'd be honored, M.G.

Jaye Wells said...

LOL. Dana's made me spit Diet Coke everywhere. Awesome.

Christa M. Miller said...

The Lovely Boners
by Alice Ribald

House of Spam and Eggnog
by Andre Dubba-Rum

M. G. Tarquini said...

ROTFL! Everybody's a BUNION!

And posted to the post, Christa. Excuse me, I have to wipe off the monitor.

Christa M. Miller said...

I too am honored. :D

Bonnie Calhoun said...

Dana, Dana, Dana....~blush~

M.G....how about:
"How to Kill Taggers in Seven Easy Steps"

Rachel Vincent said...

Damn. How do you guys ever get anything done?

M. G. Tarquini said...

You'll notice, Rachel, who has the agent...

Bonnie, has to have an author's name. Or be a play on something already out there.

The Seven Habits of Highly Annoying Taggers

Now give me an author's name.

R.J. Baker said...

Pain in the Aztec
by
A.M. Roid

M. G. Tarquini said...

HAHAHAHA

Sandra Ruttan said...

Take Bonnie's How To Kill Taggers in Seven Easy Steps

and make it by Uri Ito.

With her permission, of course!

Great thread!

Dana Y. T. Lin said...

MG - ya ya ya. That's all you do, but never deliver.

New book -

Bovine Secrets of the Ya Ya Priesthood
By Rebubba Bells

M. G. Tarquini said...

Sandra - I don't need no steenking permission.

Christa M. Miller said...

Cedars Falling on Homes
by Gunnar Destruction

Memoirs of a Geisha Tuna Can
by Charlie Tuna

FreakoReaganomics
by Laffer Trickledown

Man... I'm bored today... how long can we keep this up, anyway?

E. Ann Bardawill said...

Orgasm With A Scream
by
J.A. Wrathofkahn

M. G. Tarquini said...

how long can we keep this up, anyway?

Until I think of something profound to blog about.

might take a few days.

Christa M. Miller said...

Oh gosh... and here I'm on deadline... :>

Erik Ivan James said...

Die, baby, die.
by
MR Clairol

M. G. Tarquini said...

It's titles like this from which Bunionzon DOT com was born.

Jaye Wells said...

Atlas Sucked
By Ayn Randy

Oliver's Pissed
by Jack Daniels

Dana Y. T. Lin said...

"Orgasm With A Scream
by
J.A. Wrathofkahn"

"Oliver's Pissed
by Jack Daniels"

M.G. - we have SO got to give JA Konrath his own little section in Bunionzon.com, right next to the Rowling cousins!

M. G. Tarquini said...

I'll answer as soon as I finish choking wiping the salsa and chips off the monitor.
Atlas Sucked!

Boy, did it ever.

oooo. I just though of another one.

R.J. Baker said...

I don't know if Atlas Sucked would ever make it. Ayn Randy has a shrinkage factor but thats just me....

Jaye Wells said...

R.J., I see your point. For a woman, she was a bit...mannish. So, I won't even tell you what title I came up with for The Fountainhead...

jamie ford said...

I keep waiting for Brokeback Geisha.

Maybe I'm looking in the wrong section of the video store.

M. G. Tarquini said...

Jaye, please tell. Pretty please?

Jamie - LOL! We need the author though. Want to make sure everything is properly attributed, y'know.

E. Ann Bardawill said...

"Brokeback Geisha"?


Oh my god...

DIBS!!!
I want this one I WANT IT!!!!

Voix said...

This list is totally awesome. Thanks for the laugh.

Jaye Wells said...

The Mountain Head
By Hugh P. Enis

or

The Fleshy Head
By Nita Briss

Shesawriter said...

The Joy F*ck Club
Butt Ho Tan

Yeehaw! I want this one! :-)

Tanya

E. Ann Bardawill said...

BrokeBack Geisha is now playing at my blog.

Bring a barf bag.

Lisa S. said...

OMG Jaye, you have me totally dying over here. I genuflect in your general direction.

Lisa S. said...

The Count of Monte Crisco
by: Alexandre Doomed-ass

The Scarlet Pimp
by: Baroness Emma Whorczy

Johnny Cremains
by: Esther Forge

E. Ann Bardawill said...

Gone with the Winfrey

By Scarlett-faced Fachekker